In This Edition

• 🛑 Getting to No

• 🎯 Calibrated Questioning

• 🏷️ Labeling

• 🎓 Links for the Learners

• 💡Tip of the Week

• ⌛Recap From Last Week

• 🙌 Sharing is Caring

I recently finished reading “Never Split the Difference” by Chris Voss. The book discusses negotiation strategies from the perspective of a top FBI hostage negotiator. 

I love to read but was skeptical when picking up this book. I admittedly am not comfortable with negotiation. Maybe I’m too conflict-averse, or perhaps I’m too much of a people pleaser. But actively engaging in negotiation has always spiked my heart rate and left me a sweaty mess. 

As I read the first few chapters, my hesitance quickly faded. The style of negotiation Voss coaches is one that should be quite familiar to those in our industry. Empathy and rapport are favored at the expense of brute force persuasion. I quickly realized that Voss’s tactics are exceedingly relevant for our industry. 

I’m excited to share a few of my favorite strategic takeaways about negotiation and how they can be applied to perhaps the only situation more contentious than a hostage negotiation: A collection call.

🛑 Getting to No

We seem to intrinsically hate hearing the word “No”. “No” signifies the end of the conversation. Of the metaphorical door being slammed in our face. As a missed opportunity to help someone find a solution. 

Voss approaches it differently. To him, it is actually a good thing to hear “No”. “No” signifies the start of the negotiation rather than the end of it. Giving someone permission to say “No” preserves their autonomy and enables a sense of comfort for them. Many times, it is the first step towards building meaningful rapport. 

Voss recommends that we retrain ourselves to approach “No” differently. We should view it not as a definitive closed door, but as an expression of a wide variety of other potential real explanations for what the consumer is expressing: 

• “I am not yet ready to agree”

• “You are making me uncomfortable”

• “I need more information”

• “I need to talk this through with someone else”

When we hear “No”, we should translate it to “Not yet”. Listen acutely to what the consumer is saying - and what they are not saying. Continue to build a rapport with them, alleviate their concerns, then circle back to the question. 

Another perspective from Voss regarding “No”: It is far better than an insincere “Yes”. Many people will tell us what we want to hear simply to get out of an uncomfortable conversation. I’m sure no one reading this has ever had a consumer tell them what they wanted to hear and fail to follow through!

🎯 Calibrated Questioning

Voss recommends using carefully-curated questions that are designed to subtly shift the conversation in the direction you want it to go while making it think that it is the consumer’s decision to take it there. He calls this approach calibrated questioning.